The Library
by Zero.Elektronik
Summary: For some people, College is a big deal. For me, however... Tweekfic.


**Done for the 100 theme challenge.**

**Though no names are mentioned, think of the "best friend" as Craig, if you like.  
**

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I started college this week. To everyone else, this is a big thing - but it's something that they can handle. They all said i'd miss High School, but I don't. Not one single bit. I don't have to pretend to like people anymore so that they will leave me alone. I don't have to worry about every movement, every look, every sound that I make, because no one is here to judge me on it anymore. I don't have to resort to sitting in the Library, which was always cold but perfectly quiet, alone. I don't miss it one single bit. Sure, I sometimes miss the safety and the comfort it provided me with for these long 5 years. Now i've been thrown out, not literally of course but you get the idea, into the real world. I've kept contact with two people. I could never really get rid of them, even if I wanted to - not that I do. I've had to travel by myself. Make arrangments and plans by myself because if I don't, then oh god, things will be a mess - a complete and utter mess. To everyone else, starting college is a big thing. To me, it's absolutley terrifying.

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It's my third day of college today. It's 3:19am and I can't sleep. I usually don't sleep, surviving off maybe an hours worth if i'm lucky - but today, i'm not so lucky. I'm on my fourth cup of coffee in the last hour because sometimes, sometimes I just really need it. Ngh, I've got to be up at 6am to get ready; otherwise i'll be late, and oh jesus, I really can't afford to be late on my third day - not with my teacher. It's been strange. It's Friday, techincally, and i've only had two days. In those two days, I've been re-evaluating my entire life.. My best friend's on the same course, too. But he got moved into another class, on different days and times and schedules and I fear i'll only see him once a week now. On the first day, after we got split up, I came home and drank coffee. More and more. I could have overdosed on it, the amount I drank - because it was the only thing that could help me cope. I knew exactly how this year was going to go now. I've never been one for keeping friends; they always leave - not that I blame them. Who wants to be friends with a twitchy, paranoid freak anyway? But I knew how this year would go. He'd make new friends. He was the type of guy who never really showed much of an interest, but people were drawn to him, regardless. He'd make tons of new friends, and i'd be there. Alone. Jealous. Oh god, Oh god, I knew how jealous I would get and it was just fustrating. This, is why i'd drank so much coffee that my blood was probably turning into my addiction of choice. Because I knew how much of an idiot I was being, and I couldn't handle the thought of being left behind. Again. I found a classmate from High School on my way to college; someone i've never really talked to much but we got on well enough to get me through the day. Turns out he's in the same class. I hitched a ride with him, and eventually found my way talking to two people i've never met before. I'm glad he was there, really, because otherwise i'd be in the Library again tomorrow, sitting alone. I'm not much of a book person - I try, I really do try. It's hard for someone like me to sit quietly, concentrating on one thing, especially when it's reading small word after small word that leaves an imprint on my brain. I don't want that. Who knows what I could be reading and not even realising? I could go insane at this rate.

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There's noises from the other side of the room, and I closed my eyes tightly, waiting for them to go away because dear god, I have no idea what or whom it could be. The last thing I want is to die on my third day - that wouldn't stand well with the staff at all. I've lost my timetable and I can't quite remember the bus that i'm supposed to be getting tomorrow. I don't know where anything is in my new college either - too many floors, too many rooms. It's a good job i've kinda, sorta, nearly made new friends (though, they're not really mind - there's someone else's, and i'm just tagging along. As usual.) because they know where they're going. I don't have a clue. The staff know my name already, and I don't know if this is a good thing or not. It's only been three days, what's so special about me that they've remembered me so quickly? Oh god. Maybe they've been stalking me and I haven't noticed. This, is a ridiculous idea of course, but you can never be too sure.

* * *

I'm violently twitching. When I get worried, or scared, it becomes more frequent, more painful. I can't help it, of course. Though, the coffee probably isn't helping. I've got a book beside me, and i'm trying my hardest to read it, and refrain from pulling my hair out, screaming. I'll end up in the library soon enough, and they don't usually smile at people like me; we cause too much of a scene, even when we try our hardest not too. I like the Library. It's always quiet. This new one is warmer than the one I used to reside in. The bookcases are practically twice my height, thought i'm not very tall at all, and there's a few computers scattered around but i'm not really interested in those. It's almost like a safe place for me, I guess. Cup of coffee in one hand, book in the other, flicking through pages awkwardly and reading, trying to take in whatever this book is telling me. I'm not supposed to bring hot drinks in here, but they haven't said anything - probably because i'll be alone, and I look sensible. I also look like i'm going to burst into tears at any moment, sometimes, but only sometimes. I should feel intimidated by towering, wooden bookframes, holding millions of small, heavy novels, surrounding and boxing me in this way. I don't, though. It's unusual, I almost feel at home there, in the Library.

* * *

It's 3pm and i've just got back from college. I didn't go to sleep. Something unusual happened today. My friend from High School didn't make it. So I spent most of the day, as predicted, in the Library. This is, until one of the guys i'd been tagging along with showed up at the door; pushing it gently and quietly to avoid making noise and smiled at me. At me, of all people. At least, I hope it was me. He walked over, grinning like an idiot - he'd been so cheerful and nice these past days, that was rare to find. He took one of my bags off me, pulled me up from my chair and lead me out - telling me that he'd been looking for me as I wasn't in the cafeteria. This was strange. Someone wanted to be with me. Someone, missed me when I wasn't there. It was almost awkward, oh god, I hope they didn't notice, and I tried my best to make conversation when I could. I was always better at listening than talking, anyway. I'd been pulled out of my security, out of my safety zone. I'd been taken out of my novelled fortress. I'd left the library.

For some people, College has been a big thing. For me? Well, It's not so scary anymore.

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End file.
